Aquapoopic Complex Disorder (APCD)
An expert panel of consulting neurologists and clinical psychiatrists has just concluded a conference, held in my cell (since they dare not let me out, not even under restraint with guardians).
They concluded that I am patient-zero of a rapidly-mutating viral global pandemic. This maliciously infectious agent has been determined permanently debilitating and in specific cases, potentially terminal.
Therefor, it has been recommended to the sub-Committee on Deliberate Neurological Disorders in the forthcoming DSM-VII, that Aquapoopics Complex Disorder (APCD) be formally recognized, defined and elevated to sublethal pandemic status.
- blatant bilateral cortical atrophy,
- deliberate cognitive dysfunction,
- unmediated misapprehension with erroneous content processing,
- exceptional persistent delusional content,
- recurrent psychotic episodes
- overt pretentious grandiosity,
- extensive gley cell necrosis, bilateral
- functional synaptic disentanglement, voluntary
- clinical sub-moronic affections (not to be confused with affectations)
- serial willful perversion of reality,
- clinical cybernetic hyper-voyeurism,
- extreme preference and fixation on ‘alternative’ (alleged) realities,
- categorical denial of evidence, fact and merit,
- premeditated subterfuge absent any purpose,
- euphoric conviction in overt fantasy,
- dissociative microcephalic degression,
- obsessive unproductive masturbation,
- hyper-extensive psychotic breaks (public),
- rigid schizoid behaviorisms,
- temporal emotive blunting and/or visionary identity trauma,
- speculative cognitive bias addiction(s)
- hyper-selective cognitive disarray
- consistent hyper-aggressive ego display,
- sub-traumatic disassociation with objectivity,
- obsessive-compulsive digital tactile feedback (typing) disorder,
- physiological addiction to fondling, sniffing and throwing feces.
- room temperature IQ ( °Ré, Reaumur scale)
- et al.
Prognosis: Terminal (self-selected).
Orders: Antipsychotic and palliative therapeutics only. 5-point restraint recommended.
Oops, gotta go! Nurse Hotty just came by with my morning’s veinous java and brain candy … gobble-gobble …